Jack White

Dear Mr. Jack White,

Oh man… Where do I even start? Well… I guess here… Because of you, I think my fiancé may believe I’m gay. She hasn’t come out and just said it… but really… how could she not with her fiancé, almost every day going, “Babe! Jack White’s solo record, Blunderbuss, is the greatest thing I’ve heard!” or “Babe! Guess who Jack White is working with now?... BECK! I smell shenanigans! ” or “Babe! Do you think Jack White would think I’m handsome?”  Am I right?

But come, on… You’re just so damn good. Why do you have to be so good? It hurts me at times. You’re just so inventive… so talented… always surprising… always inspiring. I really appreciate Blunderbuss, like a lot. That record spans like all the musical genres… Don’t put you in a corner; huh Mr. Jack White? I wasn’t lying when I said I thought it was the greatest thing I’ve ever heard. Ok, I can’t lie to you Jack White… I’ve heard some pretty great things, a little better… my fiancé saying she loves me… the doctor telling me it’s not cancer… But it’s right there, man. Blunderbuss is amazing!

You know what? I know you’re into producing, like, everyone right now. Maybe you can hook up with my boys Scars on 45 and Von Bondies them… You know, friend them up and then beat the crap out of them… It’s up to you.

Thanks again for Blunderbuss, and everything else you’ve done and are doing. I will always be a fan.

Always, with love, I remain,

Ken

Blunderbuss can be found at Thirdmanrecords.com, Amazon.com, itunes.com, and fine independent record stores across the USA...